( he's surprised she's telling him all this. is it just a matter of wanting to tell someone and he's there? maybe. Daniel isn't used to being confided in, though the idea of being a sound board isn't a bad one. he can't manage much, but listening is relatively easy. )
sounds sort of a no winners situation, since engineering super soldiers to fight a war they didn't ask to champion is messed up on its own. the best of intentions don't mean much when you're forced to be something you don't want to be.
( that came across a little personal, huh? whoopsie!! )
shit, Max. ( Daniel doesn't want to see her locked up or worse because she doesn't have a contract. is she avoiding it just to fight against the system, or because she can't find anyone? ) do you have anyone you can ask? just a friend to buy you another three months.
[ that has a lot to do with it, and she won't deny it if he asks her. back home, up until very recently, there had only been a handful of people who'd known her secret, and she'd only really felt comfortable telling each of them separate pieces of the story. no one really knows all of it, and with this new chunk of information she's not sure how much of it she can trust, either. ]
yeah. a group of us, me included, escaped when i was nine. i spent ten years running from them, then tried to take them out when someone even worse than the guy in charge when i'd left took over for him.
they'd kept going, with other groups and younger doubles. i died when my younger double shot me in the chest.
[ and then she'd burned the place down when they'd set her up to kill somebody she loved.
she doesn't want to be locked up any more than he wants to see her locked up, and she doesn't know what to do if she reaches that point and still hasn't been able to find somebody to sign with. she's not sure which would be worse, being assigned somebody at random or being locked up until someone agrees to contract with her. ]
it's a lot to ask of somebody. [ and maybe part of her avoidance is to rebel against the system for as long as possible, but she also doesn't want to ask that of someone who might not be prepared for the responsibility, not even alec. ]
( he can all too well imagine what it was like, watching a cruel institution spiral further and further out of control. his family wasn't trying to take over the world (yet, anyway), but they sure as shit were grinding innocent lives under their heel to make sure they kept thriving. no matter how much farther they had to fall to do it.
Daniel relates to wanting to destroy an institution like that, too. died trying. he hates not knowing how it ended up. )
yeah, i get it. i just think the alternative would be worse. ( and while he hesitates pushing any further, he can't quite help himself. ) i don't want to see anything bad happen to you. if you come down to the wire and need someone, i wouldn't expect anything. it'd at least give you three more months to find someone else.
yeah. took a few months of recovery and them tricking me into thinking i'd escaped, but i ended up exposing them and burning it to the ground. now everyone who was in there is free to live however they want, only with the cult around and people generally being assholes, sometimes those lives end up being pretty short.
[ and it hurts her every time when that happens. she'd let them out, but hadn't prepared them for the world and how cruel and destructive it would be.
she should maybe expect the offer he makes, considering the other ones he's made to her and to the city at large but it still comes as a surprise. ]
i'll keep it in mind. i swear that's not me blowing off the offer, i just - it's a lot to think about. for both of us.
( even that phrasing, burn it all to the ground, sticks in his head. that's what he'd said to Grace, hiding under the manor's marble staircase. looking back now, Daniel has no idea how it ended, just that he died trying for change. did Grace make it out? or did his family end up sacrificing her anyway?
he tried to start a fire with a wet book of matches after a rainstorm. it's hard to believe it could have caught. )
took me 36 years to decide, but i'd rather die making my own choices than having them made for me. i imagine most of the people you helped would feel the same.
i don't need to think about it. ( he's maybe too used to uncomfortable deals that he has no choice but to live with, though. ) but i respect if you do. the offer is there if you want it.
[ her actual intent had just been to expose them. renfro was the one who had lit the match, but she can't say it didn't feel good watching the place behind her darkest fears and nightmares burn once she'd made sure everyone trapped inside was set free. ]
i hope you're right. i had a lot of people telling me it was my responsibility whenever things went wrong because i was the one who let them out. and i know it was, and i know they'd probably rather have been free. i just wish i could have prepared them better.
i do. i'm not - i hate that i have to get signed to anyone. i don't think it would be any better if i were in the opposite position, i'd just have a nicer apartment and be able to shop or whatever whenever i felt like it.
you're a good person, max. i'm sure it's not much of a consolation, but seems to me like you did as much as you could. hindsight is a bitch when things go wrong, but you don't have it until it's too late.
yeah, i hate it too. maybe you'll get a chance to go home, apparently that happens.
( home for her isn't great, if this conversation taught him anything, it's that. still, doesn't take much to be better than here. )
until then... maybe a controlled fall is better than whatever they'd force you to do. you'll figure it out, i'm sure.
yeah, i guess. i guess i just wish i'd planned things better. the initial plan wasn't to get everybody out, just to go back home. but the initial time i thought i'd escaped turned out to be a set up, so i don't know. maybe there was never going to be a good way to do things.
[ it's not, and this place reminds her of the worst parts of it, which might have to do with why she's so resistant to following it's rules. but as bad as it is for her, it sounds even worse for him. ]
maybe i will. i just hope it's still there when i get back.
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sounds sort of a no winners situation, since engineering super soldiers to fight a war they didn't ask to champion is messed up on its own. the best of intentions don't mean much when you're forced to be something you don't want to be.
( that came across a little personal, huh? whoopsie!! )
shit, Max. ( Daniel doesn't want to see her locked up or worse because she doesn't have a contract. is she avoiding it just to fight against the system, or because she can't find anyone? ) do you have anyone you can ask? just a friend to buy you another three months.
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yeah. a group of us, me included, escaped when i was nine. i spent ten years running from them, then tried to take them out when someone even worse than the guy in charge when i'd left took over for him.
they'd kept going, with other groups and younger doubles. i died when my younger double shot me in the chest.
[ and then she'd burned the place down when they'd set her up to kill somebody she loved.
she doesn't want to be locked up any more than he wants to see her locked up, and she doesn't know what to do if she reaches that point and still hasn't been able to find somebody to sign with. she's not sure which would be worse, being assigned somebody at random or being locked up until someone agrees to contract with her. ]
it's a lot to ask of somebody. [ and maybe part of her avoidance is to rebel against the system for as long as possible, but she also doesn't want to ask that of someone who might not be prepared for the responsibility, not even alec. ]
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( he can all too well imagine what it was like, watching a cruel institution spiral further and further out of control. his family wasn't trying to take over the world (yet, anyway), but they sure as shit were grinding innocent lives under their heel to make sure they kept thriving. no matter how much farther they had to fall to do it.
Daniel relates to wanting to destroy an institution like that, too. died trying. he hates not knowing how it ended up. )
yeah, i get it. i just think the alternative would be worse. ( and while he hesitates pushing any further, he can't quite help himself. ) i don't want to see anything bad happen to you. if you come down to the wire and need someone, i wouldn't expect anything. it'd at least give you three more months to find someone else.
no subject
[ and it hurts her every time when that happens. she'd let them out, but hadn't prepared them for the world and how cruel and destructive it would be.
she should maybe expect the offer he makes, considering the other ones he's made to her and to the city at large but it still comes as a surprise. ]
i'll keep it in mind. i swear that's not me blowing off the offer, i just - it's a lot to think about. for both of us.
but i really do appreciate it. thank you.
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he tried to start a fire with a wet book of matches after a rainstorm. it's hard to believe it could have caught. )
took me 36 years to decide, but i'd rather die making my own choices than having them made for me. i imagine most of the people you helped would feel the same.
i don't need to think about it. ( he's maybe too used to uncomfortable deals that he has no choice but to live with, though. ) but i respect if you do. the offer is there if you want it.
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i hope you're right. i had a lot of people telling me it was my responsibility whenever things went wrong because i was the one who let them out. and i know it was, and i know they'd probably rather have been free. i just wish i could have prepared them better.
i do. i'm not - i hate that i have to get signed to anyone. i don't think it would be any better if i were in the opposite position, i'd just have a nicer apartment and be able to shop or whatever whenever i felt like it.
i hate this place.
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yeah, i hate it too. maybe you'll get a chance to go home, apparently that happens.
( home for her isn't great, if this conversation taught him anything, it's that. still, doesn't take much to be better than here. )
until then... maybe a controlled fall is better than whatever they'd force you to do. you'll figure it out, i'm sure.
no subject
[ it's not, and this place reminds her of the worst parts of it, which might have to do with why she's so resistant to following it's rules. but as bad as it is for her, it sounds even worse for him. ]
maybe i will. i just hope it's still there when i get back.
yeah. i hope you're right.