that's great for you, max, but i didn't. i get the WHY that's not what's bothering me.
i realize i probably picked the wrong day to do this, but valentine's day is crap anyway so it figured like a win/win to get you out of your head for a minute and into a real conversation.
you've got to stop punishing yourself. I'm not sure why you're playing the martyr now or what you did to retrigger that nasty little habit of yours but now the behavior directly affects me whether I want it to or not.
I get it, we have history, and I'm not in any position to barter but between the two of us, I'd rather have you in one piece pissed off than constantly at the whim of this city and its punishments.
I'm not so sure I can stay quiet if I have to witness you getting reamed over the network.
you think this is about me trying to punish myself? what exactly would i be doing that for? i didn't choose to come here and leave everything that's going on at home behind.
[ well, there it is, isn't it. ]
fighting's what we were made for. not everyone in there was able to handle it and i was trying to get them out.
we're stuck here, alec, and they keep making things worse. i don't want them to think i'm okay with what they do. if you don't want it to be your problem, it doesn't have to be. just stay out of the way.
fighting was what you were made for. you know what I was made for and it's not like I'm overly invested in taking up that mantle again.
It's a nice thought, the whole "not your problem, doesn't have to be," shtick but like it or not I'm stuck with you. Tied up in all of that baggage and I really, really don't want to see you like this.
I don't like seeing you like this. I could go the rest of my life never having to deal with what I had to deal with at the camp, and since we're on the topic? I can't. I can't stay out of the way. Want to know why? Because between the two of us I'm the only one with some power here and I'm tired of watching you bend over and take it for people who probably wouldn't do the same for you if the situation was reversed.
[ all right, looks like they're really doing this. ]
i don't like it. i don't like that you have to be here, too. neither of us should be but if either of us were going to be, i was the first one here. i'd wanted to find a way out and back before the possibility that you could arrive here even crossed my mind and if i had my way you never would have come here in the first place.
you don't seem to get it. i don't care if they wouldn't do it for me, i don't want them to have to do it at all. if that means i take a few hits then so be it, i can handle it. at least i'm doing something useful while we're stuck here.
but I am here, regardless of botched plans and bad atittude.
no, I get it, I just don't like it. It's cage-matches today and something else tomorrow, where are you going to draw the line? Useful?? You might be buying them some time but you have to know that being the fall guy isn't a permanent fix. not here.
I don't have a choice. I don't get that luxury. you're the only one here that gets it. you're the only person here I care about.
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no subject
i get the WHY that's not what's bothering me.
i realize i probably picked the wrong day to do this, but valentine's day is crap anyway so it figured like a win/win to get you out of your head for a minute and into a real conversation.
no subject
thanks dw never got this notif
I'm not sure why you're playing the martyr now or what you did to retrigger that nasty little habit of yours but now the behavior directly affects me whether I want it to or not.
I get it, we have history, and I'm not in any position to barter but between the two of us, I'd rather have you in one piece pissed off than constantly at the whim of this city and its punishments.
I'm not so sure I can stay quiet if I have to witness you getting reamed over the network.
it's okay you're here now!
[ well, there it is, isn't it. ]
fighting's what we were made for. not everyone in there was able to handle it and i was trying to get them out.
we're stuck here, alec, and they keep making things worse. i don't want them to think i'm okay with what they do. if you don't want it to be your problem, it doesn't have to be. just stay out of the way.
no subject
It's a nice thought, the whole "not your problem, doesn't have to be," shtick but like it or not I'm stuck with you. Tied up in all of that baggage and I really, really don't want to see you like this.
I don't like seeing you like this. I could go the rest of my life never having to deal with what I had to deal with at the camp, and since we're on the topic? I can't. I can't stay out of the way. Want to know why? Because between the two of us I'm the only one with some power here and I'm tired of watching you bend over and take it for people who probably wouldn't do the same for you if the situation was reversed.
no subject
i don't like it. i don't like that you have to be here, too. neither of us should be but if either of us were going to be, i was the first one here. i'd wanted to find a way out and back before the possibility that you could arrive here even crossed my mind and if i had my way you never would have come here in the first place.
you don't seem to get it. i don't care if they wouldn't do it for me, i don't want them to have to do it at all. if that means i take a few hits then so be it, i can handle it. at least i'm doing something useful while we're stuck here.
like i said, no one's making you watch.
no subject
no, I get it, I just don't like it. It's cage-matches today and something else tomorrow, where are you going to draw the line? Useful?? You might be buying them some time but you have to know that being the fall guy isn't a permanent fix. not here.
I don't have a choice. I don't get that luxury. you're the only one here that gets it. you're the only person here I care about.